Year 7 update

I havent been on here for some time, so thought I should update as to how year 7 has been particularly as there will be a lot of nervous parents and children out there right now.

The school were warmly embracing of Joe and Ben and continue to be so. The support is second to none and we have only had a handful of situations where things could have gone better. One was an enterprise day where all of year 7 were in the hall for a fun business day. Unfortunately this was not an ideal environment for the boys, and having not got to classes very much they are not involved with their year as much as we would like.  They were encouraged to go but it was an upsetting experience for them and resulted in them having a very difficult day.  The other time was when a fire alarm went off and Joe was left by himself to find his way to the lunch hall and get lunch. Usually he is accompanied, he managed it but was extremely stressed by it.  So both of these situations were out of the norm and we have discussed with school and they understand how and why it affected the boys as it did, and we understand how and why it happened.  Our lines of communication are very good.
Other times were minor where an LSA thought one of the boys could perhaps remain in class a bit longer. As parents we are happy for school to push the boundaries a bit but its a fine line between pushing and helping and causing anxiety. So far this has all been managed extrememly well.
So much so that attendance this year has increased from approximately 57% attendance to around 75% for Joe and a fair bit higher for Ben (not received the figure yet).

School are extremely flexible - for example Ben gets very stressed with changing for PE , so they allow him to do it as he is, shoes and all if necessary.  He is happy, they are happy. 
We take them to school just after registration to avoid any rush of kids and chaos and noise. We drop them off at the back of the school where they go directly into the progress department. If they are late due to morning tics we drop them off the same place. This is working very well for both sides. Of course it would be ideal if they could get into registration but the noise and unstructured environment proves too much for them.  School understand better to get them in calm and get a good start than to force the issue and end up having a morning of unproductive tics.

The sad thing is that they havent made friends in the same way as their peers so they are missing out on that.  Their constant exhaustion mentally and physically means they havent felt able to join any after school clubs. Another area where children make friends and socialise.

It bought it home to me today, when a friend posted a photo of a sporting event her child is at today. Lovely experience and will create happy memories.  At the same time Joe was struggling phsyically to get out of the car at school.  This has a terrible psychological effect on him as he thinks all eyes are on him and he got very distressed about going into school.  It just made me realise quite sharply just how different the boys experiences of school are compared to the norm.  Whilst they enjoy it when they are there its often a miserable experience in the mornings, very stressful for them and for us as parents.

I worry about how this will affect them as time goes on.  Will they become angry rebelious teenagers.  I hope not. They are lovely sensitive kids but facing this day in day out takes its toll, and we have already started to see the odd sign of depression. 

We usually find at this time of the year that their tics settle down, allowing them to do more and not feel so tired.  But it has not been the case this year unfortunately. There has been no let up since November.  Of course some days are much better than others but just when you think you are on a roll and things are improving BANG they are back again.  Or we get a school holiday and have to go through the anxiety of returning to school after the break. 

I would say to all the parents out there that are feeling frustrated with their school - it can be done. Our school is proof.  They are understanding, warm and loving. When they say every child matters they absolutely mean it.  So please dont let a school tell you they cant be flexible because they can and they should.  Tourettes is a disability and allowances need to be made.

We must all continue with our efforts to raise awareness because the more this condition is understood the easier our kids (and adult ticcers too) lives will be. 

Year 7 for us has gone way beyond our expectations.  The boys had a dreadful experience with our first choice of school being rudely discriminating and cold. A late decision to see their existing school  unsettled the boys and they had to cope with leaving the security of their existing friends, who know them and understand them, to a school where they knew no one at all. Thats a very hard thing for anyone to do let alone two sensitive lads with anxiety and TS.

All I can say is WELL DONE JOE AND BEN - YOU EXCEEDED WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF YOU AND YOU SHOULD BE VERY VERY VERY PROUD OF YOURSELVES.  WE CERTAINLY ARE.